REPLICA

HUMS, 2007

I flew those airplanes and I crashed those wheels

Like a vagabond in the search for something precious, something real

Look what I found now - the same old fish in my creel

The scars on my heart are getting so damn clear

My occasional tears are so foolish but so sincere 

It makes me wonder, is it you yearning here? 

You and I have never made it to the time borders 

I spent my life in classrooms and you spent yours by the water 

Though the only dream we ever had was to be footballers 

You never mind weeping, you never mind to bleed 

The dreamy Romeo and the delicate branch from this family’s tree 

You jail the hearts so fast but you break so easily 

I’m just your replica

I’m just your replica

(You’re the real diamond)

Now I seem to know myself when your light departs

All this time you’re the original god’s masterpiece of art 

I have the money and the deeds but I don’t have your heart

(You’re the real diamond)

And all your virtues that I refused to borrow 

are the essences of my long journey to form my own duo 

It’s the same old-fashioned song but on a new piano

I’m just your replica

I’m just your replica

​

Boston - February, 2007

REDHEADED WOMAN

HUMS, 2007

She wears a green summer dress with cherubs around her

She stumbles in and out of this train

I came to welcome her back home

But apparently she forgot my name

Her careless look keeps rolling this pain

It sent me to heaven and hell again

She said she’s just a new heartbreak in this chain

And it’s all over

She spent years and years roaming these towns

And I spent them looking for her eyes

I kept on believing she’ll be back

But like a homeless sparrow, she flies and flies

And now she’s my favorite sad song at the break of the dawn

She’s my meaning of failure in the eyes of everyone

She’s my sweetest fairy tale I never owned

And it’s all over

She got her red hair shining and a ticket in her hand

A couple of bodyguards and a handsome man

She’s got my tears, my songs and my plans

And it’s all over

I was never hers,

She was never mine 

And it’s all over, redheaded woman

​

Hamad Town - November, 2005

PAINT ME A HEART

WHISPERS, 2008

Hey love, you’re drowning in your colors 
Don’t you wanna have some rest? 
You’re searching for yourself in me, 
I know that, don’t resist 
Hey love, I spent years on your bench 
Can’t you feel my weary chest? 
I’m tired of loving you 
I’m tired of showing you my best 
Because I’m burning in a gone down deal 
Yearning for your art to heal 
Faking what I feel 
Paint me a heart right now for real 
Hey love, stop drawing my face 
It’s growing ugly and old 
Dig my heart

Don’t judge me from your painting board 
So paint me a heart, though I know it’s gonna be fake 
Paint me a heart, for someone else to break
(you never loved me anyway) 
Paint me a heart, with any color, 
any shape, any heartbeat rate  
Because I’m burning in a gone down deal 
Yearning for your art to heal 
Faking what I feel 
Paint me a heart right now for real

​

Boston - November, 2007

HOLY BOOKS

WHISPERS, 2008

I’m still here, hanging at the corners

Seeking your heart within people

The sad of them and the playful

In these dark years where love is shameful

And I’ve got nothing but your laughter echoed in my head

My heart is where the sunset is

Where your truth denies your promises

In the wait for another dream, probably

My love...

We turn around for love abroad

We hunt for love that’s outlawed

We worship different holy books from the same God

It’s the same you and me

The busker and the refugee 

In the wait for another dream, probably

My love... 

Why have you taken my Sugarbee from me?

​

Sanad - October, 2008

DAUGHTER OF THE SUN

SCREAMS, 2009

There were times when I heard you weeping

You came to be embraced and I pretended I was sleeping 

I haven’t realized that my presence could pull you through 

From the unkind things that the world has said to you 

Life threw dirt on me while your light lingered 

And you were there with me by the flood of love’s hunger 

But I was too troubled to see how beautiful you grew 

Daughter of the sun, help me get over you 

Baby, baby stay 

I want to tell you I love you again 

Baby, baby stay 

I want to send your pain down the drain 

Baby, baby stay 

I want to play with you in the rain 

Like the two children we used to be 

My head was always filled up with the stupid dreams I drew 

My heart was always suffering from my failures and the things I couldn’t do 

And I haven’t realized how far you flew from me 

Daughter of the sun, forgive me

​

Boston - November, 2007

VAGABONDS

ARMOR, 2013

Me and my friend
Never had a dread
Never needed a home to return to
Forever unwed with dreams unfed
We’re unarmored in a war

between the innocence of youth and the pain of aging truth
Silently, dead
Me and my friend

​

New York City - December, 2012

UNARMORED

ARMOR, 2013

Days of yore, have we gone too far?
Time has declared a war
There was a place when we were young and beautiful
Blaze of change has burnt it all
And I don't know why
And I don't know why
Mother told you god is no diverse
and your purpose is to fatten your purse
So you're going deaf by the saddest applause
till you couldn't tell who your enemy was
And I don't know why
And I don't know why
But your memory haunted me to take me home
My love for you was enormous
You’re the only sun I drew
But my naked heart lacked an armor
I couldn’t let those rays come through
Glimpses from the untold end

have split my world in two
And I don't know why
And I don't know why

​

Barbar - May, 2013

THE SILENT PARADE

OF FADING YOUTH

ARMOR, 2013

-Helplessly silent-

[Instrumental]

​

Hamad Town - April, 2011

ELSEWHERE

ARMOR, 2013

Dawn has broken

over the frozen

city of tocsin, my good friend

And I’m still rebelling

on the sidewalks

with my unarmored heart  against the howling wind

I’ve been searching for the key for years but the door was open

You think I’m a fighter,

a killer,

a winner, but you’re wrong

I’m only a busker

writing love songs

for worthless women to keep me warm

I’ve been searching for the key for years but the door was open

​

Edinburgh - December, 2009

BOUDOIR

TRYST, 2017

Spare your love

Spare your love

I was sad to see you leave like a carnal enemy

You warred over peace when you were with me

Had I outshone the stars, would I climb your bed alone?

But I sold my heart for the price of a song

What a taste of mystery, adored in your Persian arms

A mystical memory that did me harm

There’s a pain you overlooked I will never feel your love

I’m hooked, cooked and booked but I don't want to be in love

Eleven wounds that separate a poet from a randy man

For your boudoir fabricates the dreams we ought to ban

So, spare your love

Spare your love, love

​

Barbar - December, 2015

MARS

TRYST, 2017

(Only then was she free to grow, only then was he free to know)
Hey, fool of mine

Can you see my face?
I set your bridge on fire

because of your bloody last name
And I would trade your head for another bad love

to fuel my flame
But I'm far from the final aim
Far from losing this game
Far from having you framed
Far from the ocean of madness that crowned our fame
(I buried you alive, you buried me alive)
Your face has the flair for a perfect plot
A streak of affirmations from dire fuss
Your will is the same, to shine or to maim
There, you mute the world around me and say:
“You’re a wet dream in my bed

and your blood keeps my roses red.”
So you govern the light for your chessman
Am I your chosen chessman, my love?
My soul is locked
My brain is fucked
And I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do, love

​

Barbar - June, 2016

EMBER

TRYST, 2017

You said: 

“Eight flaws will follow

my halfhearted sorrow 

and deepen in me. 

What you see 

is a dervish agitated 

with love unrequited 

like a burning sea.”

And I pled:

“If pillow talks are ephemeral,

the friend in me is eternal, 

so don’t leave me.

My love, please. 

Pain with you is savored, 

your mouth is coffee flavored 

- my dependency.”

You wailed: 

“I'll be your wisdom’s seeder, 

I'll be your art’s feeder,

I have to flee.”

And I wept: 

“I want you to remember, 

I'll fan this lonely ember

till it dies in me.”

How white should this darkness be?

​

Barbar - November, 2016

SUGARBEE

HUMS, 2007

Well, it’s been 4 years and a half since you’ve captured my heart
I should’ve told you from the start but I didn’t have the guts
And I’ve spent all this time swinging those strings

and learning those things

I thought it would make me a king
Now, my heart skips 7 beats and a half when you said you’re leaving
How I hoped you’ve been deceiving me, oh Sugarbee
My world is going astray

I’m crawling right behind you wondering what to say
And you’re already miles away
But I made you sing
I made you fly without wings
This can’t be the end
I’m getting over you
Though I know it’s true
There’ll never be another you
Oh Sugarbee
My tiny dancer, Sugarbee
You nearly killed me, Sugarbee

​

Hamad Town - March, 2006

FADHEELA

HUMS, 2007

I remember my mewl in our home’s balcony

On my first day in school when you ran to me

There, when I first felt loved

And I remember your white hand in the dark so sunny

It took me to my dreamland where Tom Sawyer is waiting for me

Again, your love forced my pain to fall to sleep

I remember the muse you’ve lost within me

And the songs of Fairuz you chanted constantly

There, when I first wanted to sing

And I remember my silly blues when a girl gets hold of me

So emotionally abused in my red room, solitary

Again, your love falls like rain and runs so deep

Was I worth the seeds of love you’ve thrown in me?

​

Boston - March, 2007

REBELLION

WHISPERS, 2008

Father, I’m running through the fire 
I don’t want to belong, I just need a place to admire 
I run and I run towards the sun 
Thinking about the things I could’ve done about it 
My friends are gone, one by one, 
to the fighting, they just can’t live without it 
You know I’ve never lost the faith within 
If God is with us, then who’s with them? 
Mother, I’m drowning in my desires 
I just wanted to keep a wife and a home

but they call me a thief and a liar 
I drown and I drown in this fucked up town 
The roots in the ground had poisoned my fortune 
I see people meltdown for unknown grounds 
What kind of love can cause this tension?
It doesn’t really matter where it all begins 
Because we prayed and we cried

and we moaned and we failed and we sinned 
Call it rebellion 
I found myself in this rebellion 
In this rebellion 
I’m not a blind civilian 
I don’t bleed my head 
I don’t wear the black 
I don’t close my eyes and ears to prove piety 
I don’t grow my beard 
I don’t preach slaughter 
I don’t raise a sword for the lord to show loyalty 
And that’s what I see 
What’s wrong with unity?

​

Boston - October, 2007

ATONEMENT

SCREAMS, 2009

Buskers at the corners burning their guitars 
Their mothers cried blood when you’re gone 
Their girlfriends in a row sketching your face on the walls 
With candles in their hands when you’re gone 
And I don’t know why you’ve been faking those smiles of yours 
And I don’t know why you've been waiting for love to bring you home 
They turned your playground into a churchyard 
They named it by you when you’re gone 
Love is for trade, porn is the currency 
and music is forbidden by the lord when you’re gone 
And I don’t know why you’ve been faking those smiles of yours 
And I don’t know why you've been waiting for love to bring you home 
A fragile vagabond in the making

(on the way to his own shining star)
A reckless hobo eternally waking

(with his soul hanging onto a broken guitar)
You’ve been dreaming with your tears run dry
Nobody taught you how to dive or run or fly 
I missed your last sigh 
Jackie told you: “You better quit this scene, before it leans, 
before it keens, before it messes up your genes (think about it).” 
And I was thinking: “Tell him something more for love’s sake, 
you’re his God and he’s just fucking sixteen.”
He said: ”Classrooms won’t do you any good, you really should be in Hollywood if you could - and that’s what I mean.” 
And I thought: “He was born to feel misunderstood. 
He was the most ill-fated kid that I have ever seen.” 
Mothers cried blood when you’re gone 
Mothers cried blood when you’re gone

​

Sanad - April, 2009

PROPHETS

SCREAMS, 2009

The sound of your sweet breath triggers death, bends into the telephone 

It cages my bitter bones in your frozen zone 

The mathematical love of yours still ignores my fanatical care 

And you just can’t declare your religious mind is spacing elsewhere 

So, you freeze my burning sun with words like bullets from a gun 

And I’m lost here on the run

Between what you’ve said and done

Between our prophet’s son and your orphan 

Tacit terms adorn your lips, deceiving tips, they mess with my head 

They lead my sugary dread to my sweet deathbed 

And my desire remains unfed

I’m cutting my roots so deep so you said: 

“Run baby run, you’re better off than dead.”

My blood is on the gory line between your prophet and mine

But the misery you designed and the sorrow you defined

is so beautiful and divine

What’s the cost of dying in your arms? 

I killed and drilled to know ya 

I crossed the ocean to show ya 

You’re etched on my skin 

I wailed and jailed to steal ya 

I bled my heart to feel ya 

And you’re worth all my sins 

What’s the cost of dying in your arms?

​

Sanad - April, 2009

FIREWATER

ARMOR, 2013

He waved hello for my bold debut

Then cut my wings before I flew

I was working the sun waiting on a cue

Was it the curse of my own virtue?

Or the tears of youthful joy that blurred my view?

I thought my vivid dreams owed me a rescue

He said: "Don't don't don't don't don't don't try to make me happy, 

I will steal your heart away. You’ll renew every truth and repair every wound but I’ll still make you obey the greedy monkey on the throne today."

Here I grew alone into the rebel I knew

With all my debts and all my revenue

The silent parade of fading youth is due

He said: "Don't don't don't don't don't don't try to make me happy, I will make your soul pay. Come on and be a snitch, you sassy corporate bitch, do you really want to play? You were never born to love the money anyway.”

I’m burning in firewater

I’m drowning in firewater

​

Saar - November, 2011

OLD ENEMY

ARMOR, 2013

I’ve been waiting for you to thrill me

Like the way you’ve tried to kill me

I was drawn to my blood and tears

But in the wait for your love or hate

Another hope just shines too late

I guess I wasted all those years

But I’m still here

Are you still my crying charmer?

I’m old to build my heart an armor

And I could fight back with my fear

I know I was torn by your lying light 

Then damaged by your foolish sight

But you oddly remain so dear

And I’m still here

Are you still my crying charmer?

​

Manchester - October, 2012

VETERAN

ARMOR, 2013

Rage has kept the sound of your heart cutting through my brain
Rage is a song from your dream that washed away my pain
Where the melody rose then died again and again and again

 till it’s lost in vain
Wayhay,  does it still mess with you, my friend?
Woho, or did it grow out of trend?
Wayhay, your raging heart never failed to defend your soul
Rage has echoed again from these headstones
Your sweet rage is like a warning for a pool of vagabonds
I know they stole your crown
They killed your myth and left it drown in your citadel 
while you were homeward bound
But god gave you away and I’m lost then found
Wayhay, does it still mess with you, my friend?
Woho, or did it grow out of trend?
Wayhay, your raging heart never failed to defend your soul
I’m yet to blow the song
The realm is on the fall
And the veteran is dead after all
Wayhay, does it still mess with you, my friend?
Woho, or did it grow out of trend?
Wayhay, your burning shrine will never descend
You’re gold...

​

Saar - September, 2011

RED

TRYST, 2017

We’re covered in red of the desperate me and the elusive you

Tell me, who's worse?

The pain we revisit every night has set the stage

for a grand death well rehearsed

This love is doomed forever

Drenched in the blood we shed, it’s all red

Are you deeply feeling dead?

Because I do, I do

I see myself suffering from missing you

before you lock me gently in the tomb

You’ll be hanging every drop you bleed inside you

till you finally return to the womb

I’m not the man I thought I was

You're not the woman I killed to wed, it’s all red

Adorning our deathbed

Because we’re through, we’re through

​

Barbar - April, 2017

11

TRYST, 2017

The man you hoped I would be is here with me

He built walls from books of theology

The ones you left for him to read

The man you hoped I would be

Dressed up like saints

The godless domain he drew kept us poles apart

Him and my infidel heart

The man you hoped I would be is here with me

He grew trees all over his property

with pretty dogs roaming free

The man you hoped I would be

Baked his own bread

and sang your every morning tributes

for your forgetful fading roots

Does he love things unsaid and claim he knows better?

Does he slow dance to your burning room into the arms of another?

​

Barbar - April, 2016

8

TRYST, 2017

She whirls around the sun, I just cannot keep up with her pace

These poor eyes of mine never saw anything like her grace

She speaks of utopia and trades a kiss for a gun

Nothing is more powerful than the beauty of a woman

She used my burning heart to warm up her bones, with no regret

And I'm left here on the verge, I cannot bet and I cannot forget

So she gifted me a love song with a worn out ribbon

Nothing is more powerful than the beauty of a woman

​

Barbar - February, 2015

WHITE

TRYST, 2017

Battle of the sexes won’t end

It’s a heavenly trend

Your fire is due for exchange

I know the deepest fibers of your soul

She tore and sold

But your heart will grow and change

Forget the familiar and meet the strange

You offered her a wedding dress

before a moonlight tryst

Well, history is free to rearrange

And if a foreign honey burns a hell

outside your shell

Extend your heartbeat's range

Forget the familiar and meet the strange

​

Barbar - April, 2017

HYMN

HUMS, 2007

Urging to roam
Urging to fly back home
Here on the snow-covered domes
A new soul
An aging face
An aware heart in the wrong place
I left my dreams on a sailing ship

to be carried on by my unborn daughter
Will I ever be loved?

Will I ever be thought of like my mother thought of my father?
I’ve got pictures I managed to paint and I’ve got songs I left undone
Should I follow the light of my own little candle or the sun of everyone?
I wonder…
I wonder…

​

Boston - January, 2007

MOURN

WHISPERS, 2008

Do you remember the days I was only nineteen? 
I used to chase your smile

at the avenues and the magazines 
My heart enjoyed skipping beats after beats for you 
Now I’m growing older in terms of maturity 
Against my childish dreams and living’s duties 
And the unforgettable beauty of you 
But I still mourn 
Lay down here by the telephone 
Mourn, all night long 
From my blood to my bones, for you 
So I’m stepping forward without a trace 
With my hunger for love and the memory of your face 
And the passion I misplaced in you 
But I still mourn 
Lay down here by the telephone 
Mourn, all night long 
From my blood to my bones, for you

​

Boston - December, 2006

LONELY THROUGH THE CROWD

WHISPERS, 2008

Pretty girls standing by the door 

Hearts of gold in their hands and still searching for more

Fragments from the past 

Just come and mess with my dying soul

And all the city boys have packed up and gone

Leaving some beautiful schemes of houses left undone

They think that they were fooled 

By those dreams they haven’t won 

Mama, this misty town ain’t the same 

Mama, isn’t it a shame? 

What I became, another loser in this game 

Mama, this dusty town ain’t the same 

Mama, isn’t it a shame? 

I’m being blamed for being lonely through the crowd 

No one knows my name

No one knows I’m in pain

Let me out, Ma

Let me out, Ma

​

Hamad Town - December, 2002

RED CASH & BLUE BLOOD

SCREAMS, 2009

Yesterday I killed a man named soldier
I cut off his throat and buried his gun 
Today that buried gun came to seed 
A grey tree fruiting bullets and bombs
My daughters and the grey tree

are growing under the same sun 
Oh God, what have my hands done? 
Another man called soldier came back from the dead 
He broke my bones and dug a grave for two 
And while my soul was departing my guilty body  
I’ve realized that my name was soldier too 
Our grave is honored for the souls we slaughtered 
Though the sand on top is wholly covered with 
Red cash and blue blood with faces in the mud 
Red cash and blue blood and hatred scars 
Now I’m looking at this gory place from the sky above 
I’m a dead soldier and I’m still on the run 
Cupids and devils are indifferent here 
They don’t care what we’ve lost or what we’ve won 
The maps to heaven are lost and scattered  
And the holy books in God’s kingdom

are completely colored with 
Red cash and blue blood with faces in the mud 
Red cash and blue blood and hatred scars

​

London - December, 2007

ROADIE

SCREAMS, 2009

It was right here in this leaf-covered house by the glow 

A hundred summers ago

I wrote down the very first verse on the cracks of the pretty sidewalks

My guitar was still ice-cold

You wouldn’t want to know me

You wouldn’t want to show me

There was you and me and the 14 beautiful souls 

sharing the beds and the meals with the other 7 next door

And as the time travel away I was still the same dull delicate bard

in a sea of tears to explore

I was never bold, I was never whole

Dear God, don’t take me to heaven if there’s no rock and roll

I came all the way to tell you I’m still alive

A tortured roadie at the age of 25

All your thirsty sailors have sucked my blood

and you've just watched me nosedive

You wouldn’t want to reach me

You wouldn’t want to teach me

You let me see death and birth, pain and mirth, the joy of wealth

and the struggle to survive

I’ve seen enough for the final verse to fly around, to stick behind

and to finally arrive

Those holy germs have left a big hole in my soul

Dear God, don’t take me to heaven if there’s no rock and roll

Sons & daughters, people of mine, here’s my everlasting rhyme

I’m going now but I’ll see you under different skies so get by

I’m ready to go

(Dear God, don’t take me to heaven if there’s no rock and roll)

I’m ready to go

(Dear God, don’t take me to heaven if there’s no rock and roll)

Boy: "Ala, are we there yet?" 

Man: "I don’t know, maybe we should sing it one more time."

Boy: "Okay." 

Together: "Dear God, don’t take me to heaven if there’s no rock and roll."

​

Boston - February, 2007

RAVEN

ARMOR, 2013

She’s like a rose shining out every way from the darkness of noon

Fighting every test of time but burnt too soon

And her love is murder adorned into maroon

It melts my heart down and drags me to map out her space

and call her god of moon

She kissed my back and whispered love to burn my firewood

I had to drink from her water more than I should

I maybe have told her to keep me there for good

She has the eyes of my unborn daughter

and knows the fear of my childhood

She’s underneath my skin

(She came across with a surely fading bloom to make me feel like a groom)

She’s underneath my skin

(She lightened up my everlasting gloom in a very cold bedroom)

Like a raven she was born to soar and raised to roar

She’s underneath my skin

and what have I got to win?

A broken hearts trader with an original sin

Underneath my skin left, right and within

A rush of love disease blowing up my veins

And the rush goes on and on and on and on…

​

Hamad Town - December, 2010

BAD BLOOD

ARMOR, 2013

So, they vowed you a rainbow if you make it rain

If you drag demons to be slain

No, you're caged on the morrow counting your deeds

And fighting senseless planted creeds 

But you've been out of waters

Then you’ve been out of dollars

Till you ran out of luck in the middle of war

So burn your fickle scheme to save your last scream

You’ve got bad blood you just can't chase a dream

As bitter as it may seem

You’re no supreme

You’re just another ill drop in the stream from the losing team 

So, have they grayed your rainbow?

​

Barbar - January, 2013

ASHES

ARMOR, 2013

Spaces falling in between

You and I, my baby queen

Fading traces

Burning places

Everywhere our hearts have been

Graces gone too far apart

In a fruitless search for your troubled heart

Melting races

Dying faces

You designed my disappointment and called it art

Ages drifting in blue

With a husband who curses god like you do

Dirty wages

Crowded cages

On the way to burn the house I built with you

You’ll never know how much I loved you

Shattered paces

Scattered pages

​

Edinburgh - December, 2009

ATOM

TRYST, 2017

I don't know what you are to me

I can only learn love from your school of poetry

But I feel your atom in me

Like a drop of fresh water that made my heart grow warmer

and the waves in my head calmer from the same old sea

I don't know what you are to me

But I know an atom of love in every victory

And within the silence between you and me

A million stories were told from books of silver and gold

to make history unfold wordlessly

What are you to me?

​

Barbar - January, 2015

VENUS

TRYST, 2017

Tycoons have showed me that

the world is bound to shame
Naturalization and sequestration

are their only triumphs to claim
In a country where government fools

and imams tyrannically rule
You sang Mitchell to the moon
Well, I would have dissented

but the music in me died
On a skyscraper I was burdened

by my need to hide
Just when blood fills the streets,

the prisons and the creeks
You swayed to Dylan’s tunes
I have a nephew who taught me

to embrace all my wrongs
My niece, she reminds me of you,

dreams of Venus in all her songs
While my maps are sacrosanct

around teachers I’ve never thanked
You dared Mars to bloom
Glaciers come and go
My terrain is yours to draw
Make it green and blue
And the joy I fantasize 
from the love I theorize
is awaiting your hue
Because it’s you
It had to be you…

​

Barbar - December, 2016

MAUSOLEUM

TRYST, 2017

Your dulcet violin was clear
Imprisoned my heart and ear
For twelve Julys last year when god was here
Many picture hooks on the wall
Many paint stains on the floor
And the love a father should nurture

is thrown out the door
Your apparition lives with me

through delight and odium
In one big shining mausoleum
It’s a bright sadness, you see
Love is hard to hold endlessly
Love is old, bold and untold for you and me
Found new skin immune from your grace
Bought new eyes that don't know your face
And the mother who’s killed within you came to marble this place
So I dance with my unborn daughter

to the music of your requiem
In one big shining mausoleum

​

Barbar - March, 2017